


have you ever loved someone (so much it hurts)?

by heavenhearted



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: :), Angst, F/M, Fluff, beomgyu is a literal angel, but it's all good in the end, for a split second
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:34:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23579230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavenhearted/pseuds/heavenhearted
Summary: beomgyu is your guardian angel, sent to earth to make you happy.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 33





	have you ever loved someone (so much it hurts)?

**Author's Note:**

> title from ["valentine"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-zubTTp8Tg) by coin.

“it’s been this way forever. locked. and no one sees it changing any time soon.”  
  
you look up in awe. the building is immensely tall, very old looking, but stable. it’s . . . ornate, the doorway curving widely around the heavy iron cast gates, the sidewalk curling out to meet the tourist group.  
  
“how do you know no one’s living here?” a man toward the front of the group asks. you perk up. you’re wondering the same.  
  
the guide (whose name you’d instantly forgotten as soon as she’d said it) tilts her head as she thinks. “i suppose we don’t. but engineers have predicted that the conditions inside must be close to unlivable. no one has ever seen anyone go in or out. and no one ever answers the door.”  
  
“why don’t you just break in?” a woman pipes up.  
  
the guide sighs, like she’s thought about this a million times. “we don’t have the grants. but even if we did, i don’t think we could get in anyway. it’s too strong. the walls and doors are too thick. even the windows appear to be an early version of bulletproof. i don’t know that anyone will ever get in without a key.”  
  
_or an invitation_ , you think to yourself.  
  
the tour guide paints on a smile and spreads out her arms. “if you’ll follow me.”  
  
you find yourself frozen while the rest of the tour group breezes past you, your feet cemented to the concrete as you stare at the front doors. they had been painted a deep red, but the paint is chipping to reveal chestnut wood underneath. for some reason, you know you can’t move on just yet. you know you have to at least try.  
  
your shoes miraculously become unstuck from the ground as you tiptoe across the cobblestone path. the wind is blowing softly, cascading in gentle waves across your body. you pull your cardigan in closer as you climb the steps to the front doors.  
  
the front porch is something straight out of a ghibli film. cracked marble, crawling vines, weeds blooming freely. the air is crisp. you can still hear the distant voice of the tour guide, but it's as if she's miles and miles away. you take a deep breath, and the sound echos around you. you brush a lock of hair out of your eyes and stand your ground, firmly planting both feet on the ground as the wind picks up, blowing your skirt against your knees. you have to do it. you just . . . have to. there’s nothing to lose, after all. even if something sinister happens to you, which seems very unlikely, it doesn’t matter. it's not like there’s anyone waiting up for you. you can’t figure out why you were so determined thirty seconds before but so hesitant as you stand there before it now. as if it’s fed up with your indecision, your fist reaches out of its own will and knocks solidly against the door.  
  
the three knocks reverberate so loudly that you take your eyes off the door to look around. you’ve never heard an echo so loud before, and this is an open porch, spacious as it was, how could it -- ?  
  
before you can even finish the thought, the door unlatches with a heavy _click_ , and you’re being pulled inside, the door swinging solidly shut behind you.  
  
your eyes fly open and land on a boy. his hands are firmly placed on your arms as he stares at you in what looks to be total shock. as you take him in, you realize he's glowing slightly, a pale golden light shining off of him.  
  
he's _gorgeous_.  
  
he looks to be close to your age, maybe a little younger. his eyes are dark, dark brown, round and beautiful and open wide as he blinks slowly. bright blonde hair falls over his forehead in wisps. he adorns white silken clothes and golden wire glasses. his skin is pale ivory, his lips pink and shaped in a small “o”, revealing perfect teeth. pristine, white feather wings extend from his shoulder blades, stretching out and moving slightly with each of his breaths. a cross necklace rests delicately over his heart. as far as you can tell, he's flawless. and his hands on your arms are warming your skin under the sleeves of your sweater, causing the place where his fingers rested on you to glow as well.  
  
“what are you doing?” he breathes, a light eastern accent dancing around the syllables. his eyes never move from yours.  
  
“i-i’m sorry,” you manage, the words coming out awkwardly, “i didn’t mean to bother you, it’s just that i -- we -- they were saying how no one is ever here, and i was just curious, um, i don’t know, i thought maybe -- gosh, i’m so sorry.”  
  
he exhales, almost laughing as he releases your arms, the warmth and glow fading slowly from them as he moved away. “you dummy, it could’ve been dangerous. you don’t know how sturdy this building is, it could’ve collapsed around you. or someone could’ve answered and tried to, like, assault you. you’re lucky i was with you.”  
  
you just look at him. “i . . . i’m sorry, do you know me?”  
  
he laughs for real this time, a boyish sound with a smile that makes his eyes almost disappear. “yes, i do, but you’re not supposed to know me.” he looks down at the floor, then back up at you through his lashes, smile small and cheeks flushed. “you don’t, do you?”  
  
you shake your head slowly.  
  
he bites his tongue and rocks back on his feet. “well . . .” he plays with his fingers idly, “i suppose if you’re here, i might as well tell you what’s going on.”

“please do,” you murmur hoarsely.  
  
the boy falls into a deep bow, right hand pressed to his chest. “hi,” he says when he comes back up. “my name’s beomgyu. i’m your guardian angel.” the glow around him intensifies with his words.  
  
you furrow your eyebrows. “my _what?_ ”  
  
he reaches for your hands, taking them in his and interlocking your fingers. you feel the heat instantly, an energy flowing into you from him that hadn’t when he was touching you over your clothes. “i was assigned to watch over you. to protect you. my purpose is to help you find happiness. not everyone gets a guardian, which means you must be something special.” he looks back up at your face. “but i already knew that.”  
  
your head is spinning. this boy . . . you know it has to be true. he's too perfect to be human. he's radiating. he has wings. and he's all yours? you have so many questions, yet the one you blurt out is, “does that mean you’re dead?”  
  
you cup your hands over your mouth as soon as it slips out.  
  
beomgyu giggles. actually _giggles_. god. “no, not quite. i was never really ‘alive’ in a human sense. i’m just an angel. i’ve always been one.”

your shoulders slump as your hands start to tingle. “how have i never seen you before?”  
  
he hums. “invisibility.” he nods to his feet. particle by particle, they begin to dissolve. even the glow disappears. he looks up at you with a giddy smile before making himself reappear.  
  
“wow,” you mumble. you can’t think of anything else worth saying.  
  
“i’m not supposed to reveal myself to you,” he admits sheepishly, “i, uh,” his cheeks grow pink again, “i’ve always wanted you to know me. i’ve had a lot of time to get attached to you. and i know . . . i know a lot. i know you get lonely a lot.” he pauses. “i wanted to be able to be there for you. i hope you can understand why i couldn’t before. but i’ll be here for you from now on.”  
  
you stare at him. “you will?”  
  
he squeezes your hands, still in his. the pressure sends a jolt through you, comfort seeping into your veins. the comfort of someone who truly cares for you. _our bond_ , your mind whispers. “always,” he answers, eyes sympathetic.  
  
you can’t believe any of it. he's too good to be true. he's looking at you earnestly, fiddling absentmindedly with the rings on his fingers, eyes sparkling like the night sky. his wings are fluttering ever so slightly with excitement. you look again at his lips, pink and plump and perfect, stretched out in a gleeful smile. his eyebrows are furrowed as if he's confused, probably wondering why you’re staring at him. you take note again of his clothes, this time noticing that the material shimmers, almost like it’s interwoven with silver thread. the fabric hangs off his body artfully, meaningfully, as if he's on his way to walk a runway. his hair looks to be unstyled, but he still doesn’t have a strand out of place, shining under the sun filtering in through the windows like finely spun gold. his cheeks are flushed with pink. he's downright cherubic.  
  
you smile back at him, a genuine smile, and suddenly, the warmth stops. his grin falters.  
  
“no,” he mumbles, grasping your hands tighter. “ _no_.”  
  
all of the heat is seeping out of him. his hands grow cold, ice cold, in a matter of seconds. “what’s going on?” you ask hesitantly, half afraid of his answer.

“no, come on, please no,” he cries out, tears forming in his eyes. the glow around him begins to fade.  
  
you squeeze his hands, desperately trying to understand what's happening. “beomgyu, are you okay?”  
  
he swears under his breath as he looks around frantically, eyes shifting from your hands, to the doors you’d entered through, to the ceiling, to your eyes. “are you happy? to have me? is me being in your life making you happy?”  
  
you don’t know what to say. seeing him so freaked out was definitely _not_ making you happy. “i like you, yes, i want you to stay, what’s happening?”  
  
he winces, perfect crystal tears slipping onto his cheeks. “this is so unfair.” he abruptly pulls you into a hug, wrapping you tightly in his frigid embrace. “i fulfilled my purpose. i made you happy. now they’re taking me away.”  
  
your eyes widen. “what? why would they do that? who’s _they_?”  
  
you can feel his body shaking as he cries. “i did my job. they . . . they’re gonna assign me to someone else now.”

you back away, rubbing your hands over his arms in an attempt to coerce some warmth back into him. “but you’re what made me happy, they can’t take you away.”

he places a hand on your cheek. it feels like glass. “those are the rules. i --” he sniffles, “i’m _so sorry_.”  
  
“beomgyu,” you murmur, heart shattering as he cried, “this doesn’t make sense.”  
  
the golden aura around him is completely gone now, along with the shimmer to his eyes, hair, and clothes. he looks almost ordinary. he looks almost broken. “it’s just how it works.” he looks at you, devastation written all over his face. “i don’t wanna leave you.”  
  
you shake your head. was heaven really so cruel to give you an angel and take him back in the same breath? “if they take you away, i’ll just be sad again, it’s not -- _beomgyu_ , oh my god!”  
  
he falls to his knees, screaming so loudly the whole city must hear it. “m-my _wings_ ,” he spits out, gripping your hand tightly as you hurriedly kneel down beside him. sure enough, his beautiful, pristine wings . . . the delicate feathers are falling out, one by one. your heart skips a beat.  
  
“oh my god, oh my god, what should i do?” you ask, panicking. you’re pretty sure daegu hospitals don’t offer their services to heavenly beings.  
  
he shouts in pain again, chest heaving as feathers keep falling, painting the grimy floor white. “i don’t, shit, i don’t know. please, just --” he cries out again, fingers tightening around your hand. “ _please don’t leave me_.”  
  
tears are helplessly slipping from your eyes at this point, you can feel them trailing down your face in rivers. “i’m not leaving, okay? you protected me, i’ll protect you now, okay? you’re gonna be alright, beomgyu.” it hurts you to lie to him, but you aren’t sure what else to do. the boy is sobbing in a ball on the floor; all there is left to do is try to comfort him.  
  
he hisses out a “thank you” and you take the liberty to stroke his hair. the moment you touch his head, ebony seeps into the golden strands, consuming them in a matter of seconds. you gasp and yank your hand away, petrified that you made it even worse. you look down at his back, at his shriveled up wings. they're _shrinking_ of all things, growing smaller and smaller until they're the size of thumbs, just blackened stubs that break right off his back and fall to the floor. beomgyu gasps for air, and you turn back to him.  
  
he's still huddled up, face buried in his arms. his hand has loosened a touch, but it’s still delicately linked with yours. “beomgyu,” you whisper, like his name will shatter if you say it any louder, “are you alright?”  
  
he sits up.  
  
he looks completely exhausted.  
  
but ...  
  
there’s color in his skin, his face and hands a rich olive shade rather than the sickly pale they had been before. his hair is still black from the inkiness that consumed it, but it's dull, nowhere near as shiny as it had been when it was blonde. his white robes are gone, replaced with an ordinary hoodie and jeans, and he has sneakers now. his jewelry is gone as well, the rings and cross necklace leaving no trace. his glasses, too. but his eyes are the same, still the dark, dark brown, still wide with wonder even though the sparkle isn’t there.  
  
and then it hits you.  
  
“they made me human,” he whispers back in stupefaction, the words leaving his mouth hesitantly as if they themselves weren’t convinced they were true. “they took my wings. i’m human.” he looks at you, slowly smiling. “they gave me to you.”

**Author's Note:**

> cross posted to [my tumblr](https://lilycafe.tumblr.com).my tumblr.


End file.
